Daters should keep the conversational ball rolling without unleashing a flurry of 50 questions or a true confession. On the other hand, taking an abrupt vow of silence is definitely a huge faux pas. You should be friendly, but not needy; open, but not transparent; funny, but not badly desperate for a laugh. You should prevent dating conversational speed bumps by avoiding these taboo topics.
Although sex might be the first thing in your mind, the topic should be last you say, it includes past and future sexual encounters, whether real or imaginary.
Ditto your sexual imagination and online liaisons. Talking about sex too soon is not only threatening but also confusing. The person will wonder what you mean. Ambiguity is the last thing you want in a date. You are trying to establish trust, not break it. Even animals have predictable rituals before mating. It’s a bad idea to short circuit eons of relationship patterns.
You are not ready for a date if you are still not over your ex enough that you keep on mentioning her or him during the first date. Let your past relationships come up naturally later on, if it’s that necessary. Talking about a past relationship may bring up something more frightening than commitment; comparison. People are reluctant to start a relationship if they wonder whether they measure up, especially if they believe that they are being demanded to compensate for the sins of an ex.
Latest events are acceptable conversational fodder. But it’s risky to state your position on government foreign policies, abortion, death penalty, welfare reform, gun control and others. The potential rewards often aren’t worth the risks. Your date may sincerely appreciate your political perspectives or she is just being agreeable. It is a bad idea to start a full-scale argument during the first date.
You should avoid these political hot potatoes at all cost:
- Police brutality
- Women’s role in the society
- Current conflicts and wars
Religion may be a necessary topic for you, but you should save it for later. If the word Hanukkah or Christmas slips out while you are relating funny family stories, so be it. On the other hand, pulling out a religious brochure from your pocket or being preachy can be a little over the top.
Also, if your date asks whether you believe in God, just answer it quickly and switch to an unrelated topic.