Men don’t talk much. In fact, they hardly talk at all, especially when it concerns their feelings. We seldom hear men confess about how they feel jealous of their girl’s admirers or how insecure they feel about a new coworker. Men don’t go around talking about their heartache the way women do, to release tension. Instead, men would rather keep their mouths shut and lick their wounds by themselves after a breakup.
The same is true about how they feel about marriage. You’d think that it is only women who appreciate being married since men hardly express their appreciation for their wives. But men do appreciate a lot of things about being married. According to psychologists, these are some of the things that men secretly love about being hitched:
A Sense of Purpose
Many men confess that before they got married, they sort of just ‘drifted’ into life. They hardly cared whether they were in the right job or not. It did not matter whether they took care of their health or not. If they wanted to stay up the whole night for six days in a week, they did. If they wanted to get stone drunk with their drinking buddies, nothing stopped them. They spent their money on whatever they fancied –hobby kits, CDs, car accessories… not bothering to save at all. But when they got married, they learned how to focus. They cut down, if not totally eliminated their vices. They came up with career plans and started saving. They bought educational plans instead of speakers and electronic appliances.
Married men take care of their image because they want to set a good example for their children. They become more responsible because they realize that they have other people to live for.
Higher Standards and Order
As bachelors, men don’t usually bother about details like which tie goes best with which suit. They don’t care if they use soap or shampoo for their hair. They see no difference in using paper towel from napkins, or milk from coffee creamer. But a wife pays attention even to such ‘petty’ details. She puts order in the house by coming up with standards that bachelors usually ignore: no smoking in the bedroom, no wet slippers on the carpet and many more. Men admit that they love the sense of order that such standards bring about.
An Assuring Comfort
Men may not say it, but they just love being pampered by their wives. They love the soothing comfort that a massage brings. They appreciate fresh, home-cooked meals served properly on the table when they sit for dinner. A husband feels cared for when his things are arranged neatly in his closet, or when he is reminded to drink his vitamins. But more deeply, a man feels comfortable being assured that there is someone who understands him and will help him raise his children properly.
While men love to be free, being always free to do as they please can also scare them. A wife restrains her husband’s freedom in a loving way. She doesn’t always verbalize it, but somehow, her presence and the children’s presence in a man’s life is a good reason for a man to self-regulate. A married guy doesn’t just drive out of town for two nights without notice. He advises his wife that he will be away. When his friends go on a spur-of-the-moment spree, being married can save him the time, money and effort that he would otherwise spend on a useless trip. A married guy will think twice before spending a big amount of money on a luxury item. His freedom may be limited, but in the end, he feels grateful that he learns how to prioritize.
Good Old Clean Sex
While men can make love without being in love with the woman, it feels a lot better if they had an emotional attachment with their sexual partner. That’s what a wife gives her husband: nice, clean sex. No guilt feelings, no shame, no danger of diseases. With his wife, he can be very open with how he wants to make love. Sex improves with practice and what better way to practice but with a partner you really love.
When it comes to caring for kids, women have more patience, more understanding and parental instinct than men do. A man can have kids even if he is not married. But having a wife definitely makes it easier for a man to care for his children. A man who has to earn a living to support his kids financially needs a partner who will attend to the details of child-rearing. The best person to do that is not a maid, a grandmother nor an aunt but the mother of his children.