It is normal that a man’s multitasking ability is underdeveloped since society tends to expect them to give their best only on specific fields–like their career. Women, on the other hand, are expected to balance domestic issues with personal development. That makes women more of givers than men. And that, in turn, makes a man too dependent on his mate.

Woman cleaning house for her husbandAnswer these questions with all honesty and find out if you’re overdoing the mother act when it comes to your husband:

1. When you’re not able to join your husband and the kids on an activity, like an outing, do you feel the urge to find out, right away, what they ate?

2. Do you inevitably re-do the things that your husband did? For instance, if he was the one who prepared your child’s lunch pack, do you open the bag just to check how it was packed?

3. Honestly now, are you secretly happy when he fumbles on a task you assigned him to do? Let us say, you gave him a grocery list. Do you like it when he comes home with some items           lacking or when he complains, “But honey, I can’t find the black beans!”

4. Do you welcome instances when you have reason to correct him? Like if he leaves the light open, do you jump right in and remind him that you teach your kids to save on power?

5. Deep inside you, do you like it that you are the one who’s arranging the whole family’s calendar of activities, despite your own busy schedule?

If you answered yes to three or more of the questions–and we mean an honest answer, then you are babying your husband indeed! You have the tendency to stage-manage.

To correct this, you should first analyze your motives. Just why are you taking on the mother role? Does assuming all the household responsibilities make you feel in control? In control of what? Of yourself? Or even of your husband’s life? Sometimes, wives who feel a sense of inadequacy try to cover up by babying their partner. If a wife feels that she is not earning, as much as her husband, and thus, is not doing much for the family’s finances, then she may start babying her husband to make up for her feeling of guilt. Sometimes too, a woman who feels that she is inferior to her husband in terms of education takes on the martyr role in order to make her husband feel obligated to her.

After analyzing yourself, the next step is changing your way of thinking. One expert says, “Realize that your partner has his own way of doing things.” Leave him to handle some of the things that won’t seriously affect the household anyway. Once you realize that nothing awful or tragic happens even if you let go, then you will be more relaxed about sharing responsibilities   with   your partner–the man you married and not the man you bore in your womb!