Let’s say you and your potential lover work together or are often in the same environment. This proximity gives you the opportunity to observe what makes him tick and to figure out his needs.
Usually, what he doesn’t need is another person harping on his faults, telling him what he needs to do. If you can accept him the way he is and make him feel special, you’ll have a lover for life.
What a man needs is a woman who can meet his emotional needs so completely that he has no need to seek another woman. By satisfying his basic human cravings for attention, understanding, appreciation, acceptance and affection, you’ll make the one you want to feel happier– especially when he’s with you. He’ll realize this (slowly, perhaps) and start to seek you out more and more. Committed love will come when he realizes the happiness you’ll bring him.
Here’s what to do:
- Be perceptive. It’s easier to read minds than you think. People constantly give clues that tell you what’s going on inside their heads. All you have to do is take the time to notice. Try to understand the way he responds to different circumstances. Note his patterns. Suppose you’ve seen him sulk after being criticized by his boss–and figure out he needs extra praise on those days. By honing your powers of observation, you’ll know what kind of things are going on in his life long before he confides in you. And he’ll think you understand him better than anyone else. (You do.)
- Be empathetic, not sympathetic. Most men prefer a listening ear to an agreeing voice. When you give your man sympathy, you’re showing you feel sorry for him, but what he wants is respect– not pity. That’s when empathy and compassion come in. Show that you’re genuinely interested in his words and concerned about his feelings. As you become more empathetic, he’ll feel drawn to you– like a thirsty man to an oasis.
- Be a mirror. People aren’t used to having others take the time to listen to them. Focus your attention on the one you want and he’ll feel as if you’re really on his wavelength. Being a mirror is an effective way to reflect your interest and concern – to the extent that your man may not even notice he is becoming more dependent on your support.
- Be sensitive to his feelings about you. A common mistake women make is assuming that a man feels the same way they do. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, there is often nothing farther from the truth. Sure, it’s discouraging to realize that someone you’re interested in doesn’t have the slightest attraction to you. But…
- Don’t give up! Love takes time. Train yourself to confront reality at the beginning of the relationship. Facing the truth that you haven’t yet won your man is an important step in gaining the love you want. Focus on his needs rather than your own wishful thinking. Never assume you’ve already won his love. Then you’ll never quit nurturing him.