Every person on earth who is in a relationship or is looking for a soul mate, wants a passionate relationship. Women, even more so. Women want their men to think of them always and love her completely. Most people would believe that an ideal relationship would be that of perfection – love and understanding all the way. Well, that is far from the truth.
As counter-intuitive as it may sound, conflict is an important step towards strengthening any relationship. If you are surprised by this, you are not alone. Conflict, is, in fact an important aspect of a love relationship. We are not talking about violence or anger here. Anger is a feeling that hurts people; we are not talking about causing hurt to your loved ones. Anger causes several hurt feelings, or occasional violence can destroy the relationship. Anger, in all its forms, is BAD.
When in a relationship you should feel secure enough to be able to express your innermost thoughts, insecurities, feelings as well as anger. And this should be possible without causing pain to the other person AND without having the other person react in a manner that hurts you. Two people who can have conflicts and their relationship have reached a point where they can handle difficult matters without each one taking their cudgels out.
It’s always great to a have a partner who loves you but it’s equally important that he should not be one of those who start punishing the other person with the first signs of conflict. A really mature relationship would consist of two individuals who are willing to sort out their matters in a peaceful and loving manner even if the matter is very sensitive or it entails hurting one’s or both person’s ego. Never mind the promises that have been made, it’s what the person does in the heat of the moment that counts.
Though many people will argue that it’s best to avoid uncomfortable topics and skirt around issues that are likely to cause bruised egos or hurt feelings, nothing could be farther from the truth. Avoiding topics that are important to you just because you are afraid of conflict will only make the relationship laborious and boring. You need to bring it all out in the open.
Believe it or not, relationships become stronger through conflict as much as they do during romantic evenings or adventurous outings. It shows the amount of trust you have in your partner, and it shows that you can openly discuss your feelings without tiptoeing around for the rest of your life.
Here are few very simple things to keep in mind when you are having a conflict. Keep these tips in so that the conflict remains positive and doesn’t degenerate into an ugly argument or an irreparable fight.
- Don’t threaten to leave the relationship if you get upset. If you are married, never threaten divorce.
- Don’t tease him about things he is sensitive about or taunt him about his shortcomings.
- Never go to bed with an unfinished argument or unresolved discussion.
So, don’t worry about ruining your relationship, simply go ahead and discuss what is on your mind. Make sure you are honest and considerate about the other person’s feelings. Remember, Great Couples Have Fights, and that is because they don’t let those fights get in between of them.